What Becoming a Mum Taught Me About My Own Mother.

My Mum.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day.
Like many people, I found myself reflecting on my mum and the things I now understand that I didn’t as a daughter.

Mum has always been a fighter.
Both physically and on her knees.
I remember one day in primary school when a coin fell out of my pocket and rolled onto the road. I rushed after it without thinking. My mum immediately decided I needed to move schools. She believed strongly that the environment around a child matters.
My mum was fond of saying something that stayed with me:
“The child who came first in the class, did they have two heads?”
I grew up in a system where children were ranked at the end of each term. Thankfully, I was often among the first three in my class, but my mum always believed we could aim higher.
When I started secondary school, I gained admission into one of the two best schools in our town. After one year, my mum heard about an international school and decided I needed to move there.
My dad didn’t really see the need for the change, but my mum ran around until she found a space for me.
One of my dad’s relatives was the Commissioner for Education at the time. Each time my mum asked for help, he would say:
“Where is your husband?”
But my mum kept going. She would move mountains to make sure her children had opportunities.
I remember when I got admission into that school, which was a boarding school. My mum had to use an overdraft to get me the things I needed to start.
Throughout my years there, my parents never missed visiting day. My cupboard was always full of provisions. We had a neighbour who sold things like cornflakes, Milo, Cabin biscuits, you name it. My mum would collect them on credit to make sure I never ran out of food in school, even when things were tight at home.
After my first term at the new school, I came 14th in the class.
I was actually proud of myself because the competition was tough. I had met girls who were more than my equal.
But my mum was not impressed at all.
Her response?
“The person who came first, do they have two heads?”
Looking back now, I realise where my perfectionist streak came from.
Later, when it was time for university, I faced another challenge. I had chosen the University of Ilorin to study Law, but the faculty had been cancelled, and I didn’t know.
I chose another university, but when I got there, I realised it was still very new, and the infrastructure was incomplete. I knew it would be difficult to study there.
My mum travelled down herself to see it and said immediately:
“No. My daughter will not attend this university.”
And so another race began — changing university and changing course.
Once again, my mum moved heaven and earth to make it happen.
Now that I am a mother myself, I understand more deeply what those sacrifices meant.
It was not easy.
Especially coming from the environment we grew up in.
Mum, thank you.
You are my gist partner and my prayer partner.
I remember the days before mobile phones were common back home. We used to communicate through letters. Mum would write me pages and pages.
And I will never forget the day I called her crying after I lost my flat in a fire incident in a foreign country. She didn’t even know what had happened yet, but she immediately started crying with me.
Oh Mum.
It is a privilege to be your daughter.
I remember weekends when Mum would say she was travelling, but in reality, she would stay in the room, praying. If you have ever lived in a “face-me-I-slap-you” house, you will understand how that could happen.
That is one of the reasons I care deeply about creating small moments of pause for busy mums — whether that is through colouring, journaling, or simply taking a few quiet minutes to breathe.

Motherhood is not always loud.
Often it is quiet love, shown every day.

Happy Mother’s Day to every mum doing her best.