Sade – “Paradise,” Reflections on identity, motherhood, and the quiet ache of belonging.
- Olola'De Jide-Ajayi
- 6 days ago
- 2 min read
Sade Adu was born in Ibadan, Nigeria, to a Nigerian father and a British mother. Her father was from the same town as mine. I don’t know if she ever experienced an identity crisis, but I’ve often wondered if she carried more of her mother’s rhythm than her father’s roots. There’s something in her voice — elegant, restrained, deeply felt — that speaks to the in-between.
Years ago, I travelled to Nigeria with my children. My son, still young at the time, refused to step off the plane. “It’s too hot,” he said — before his feet had even touched the soil. Then came the questions: “Mum, why is everyone Black?” And when we finally returned to the European country we were living then, as we stepped off the plane, he looked around and said, “I’m home now.”
That moment stayed with me. It wasn’t just about heat or skin colour — it was about what feels familiar, what feels safe, and how early we begin to define “home.”Sade’s “Paradise” holds that tension. It’s a song about longing and presence, about finding joy in the midst of uncertainty. It reminds me that paradise isn’t always a place — sometimes it’s a feeling, a memory, a song that helps you carry both sides of yourself.
If you’re an immigrant or part of a diaspora, I’d love to hear from you. Where do you feel your children come from? Do they identify with the country they were born in — or the country you were born in? Does it feel right when they say “home” and mean somewhere else? Or does it stir something deeper?
Many of us try to show our children where we come from — through food, music, language, stories. But it’s not always easy. Sometimes they resist. Sometimes they don’t see the beauty we see. Sometimes we carry the ache of being the only bridge between two worlds.
I’d love to hear your story. What have you tried? What’s worked — and what hasn’t? Let’s hold space for each other here. You can share in the comments or message me privately. This is a conversation worth having.
Listen to Sade’s “Paradise” and explore the full playlist here Sade - Paradise - Official - 1988 - YouTube Black History Month Playlist | ruthymichaels.com
What feels familiar,what feels safe____ is home
C.A, yes you are right. We need to do better.
Yeah! It's really sad, I actually cannot relate to this story but I feel as parents who are in diaspora and those of us about bringing our children to foreign soil, we should make them understand and always acknowledge their father land. There is no place like home. To be honest though, it is actually difficult for the younger generation to adapt after leaving the shores of their father land talk more the children born and bred abroad. But we can still imbibe our culture, language (especially) you will rarely see an Indian parent living in the UK speak English with their children at home.